“Mind is like tofu—it takes on whatever you marinate it in.”

At first glance, this metaphor may seem simple, even playful. After all, tofu itself is unassuming: soft, pliable, and flavorless on its own. But the beauty of tofu lies in its ability to transform. Whatever you soak it in—be it salty, spicy, sweet, or sour—it absorbs and becomes. It holds the essence of what surrounds it, shaped entirely by its environment.

And isn’t the mind just the same?

Our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions are constantly steeped in the environments we inhabit, the people we surround ourselves with, the stories we consume, and the narratives we repeat to ourselves. Over time, these influences seep in, becoming part of who we are—whether or not we’re fully conscious of it.

This idea is as empowering as it is humbling. It reminds us that we are not fixed, unchangeable beings. Instead, we are dynamic, ever-shifting, shaped by what we choose to marinate in—by what we allow into our minds and hearts. But it also calls for reflection: what am I soaking in? What flavors have I allowed to saturate my mind, my worldview, my sense of self?

The Invisible Marinades of Everyday Life

Most of the time, we aren’t even aware of what we’re steeping in. The world we live in moves quickly, and our minds, like sponges, soak up the atmosphere around us. Negative news cycles, social media comparison traps, toxic relationships, and relentless busyness can silently seep into our subconscious, coloring the way we view ourselves and the world.

The tricky thing is that these marinades don’t always announce themselves. They work quietly, subtly, over time. One pessimistic thought becomes two, then ten, until it feels like a natural state of being. Or perhaps it’s a lingering self-doubt planted by an unkind word that grows roots without us even realizing.

But just as tofu can’t choose what it’s marinated in, we can. Unlike tofu, we have the power of awareness—the ability to step back, reflect, and ask: What am I feeding my mind?

Choosing the Right Marinade

If our minds are so impressionable, then the question becomes: What flavors do I want to carry? What thoughts and influences do I want to embody?

This doesn’t mean we need to live in a constant state of hyper-vigilance, anxiously filtering every moment of our lives. But it does mean taking intentional steps to surround ourselves with things that uplift, nourish, and align with who we want to become.

For me, this has meant intentionally crafting a marinade that truly nourishes my well-being. Over the years, I’ve experimented with just about everything: mindfulness and meditation, therapy sessions that offered new perspectives, long walks that tethered me to the present, and journaling my way through the maze of tangled thoughts. I even discovered the liberating art of scriptwriting—a practice that allowed me to pour my emotions onto the page and shape them into something tangible.

I’ve thrown myself into sports, cheering with fervor for teams like Corinthians, Real Madrid, and Formula 1, finding fleeting bursts of joy in the collective passion of the crowd. Music, too, has played its part—some songs stir my soul so deeply, they feel like old companions. And then there’s the comfort I’ve uncovered in the irresistible rhythm of South Korean dramas and films, their stories stretching endlessly, as though inviting me to linger in their worlds a little longer.

Some of these pursuits have become fixtures in my life; others fell away like autumn leaves, their purpose served. But every attempt—whether it endured or faded—has added something vital to my self-care toolbox. Each experience has been a thread, woven into a mental space I’ve cultivated with care: intentional, restorative, and uniquely mine.

Of course, there are still hard days—those moments when the marinade of negativity seeps in and clouds my perspective, especially during the stillness of 4 a.m. But I’ve learned to approach those times with kindness, to pause and ask myself: What am I marinating in today? Is it nourishing me, or is it weighing me down?

The Courage to Rinse and Start Again

One of the most compassionate things we can do for ourselves is recognize when the marinade we’ve been soaking in isn’t serving us. Maybe it’s a toxic relationship, an unhealthy work environment, or even the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we’re capable of. Letting go of these influences isn’t always easy—it takes courage to rinse off what’s familiar, even if it’s harmful, and start fresh.

But here’s the beautiful part: the mind is resilient. Just as tofu absorbs new flavors, our minds have an extraordinary ability to adapt, grow, and heal when nurtured with the right conditions. Even the smallest shifts—a morning walk, a heartfelt conversation, a few moments of stillness, or the magic of silence—can begin to transform the marinade, creating space for something better to take root.

A Gentle Invitation

So today, I invite you to take a moment to reflect: What am I marinating my mind in? Are your days filled with people, thoughts, and activities that nourish you? Or are there subtle influences quietly draining your joy?

If you find that your marinade isn’t serving you, don’t be discouraged. It’s never too late to add new flavors, to soak in something kinder, more hopeful, and more aligned with your truest self. And don’t forget to be gentle with yourself. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and the process of rewiring our minds—of choosing a new marinade—is a lifelong practice. Start small. Give yourself ten minutes today to do something that soothes your soul. Read a book that inspires you. Listen to music that uplifts you. Sit quietly with your thoughts and let yourself breathe.

Because, like tofu, your mind will take on whatever you soak it in. And you deserve to marinate in things that bring you joy, peace, and the fullness of who you are.

Photo by Airam Dato-on on Unsplash